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(I do not take credit for this title. This title is 100% the brainchild of my boyfriend)

Sometimes a girl just has to do something with her hands to keep her mind from scattering. I felt this way on Saturday, and so I decided the best thing for me was to make this complicated coconut layer cake I found in Saveur (again, I should just change the name of this blog to "shit I made from Saveur"). It includes my variations.

This recipe is apparently from a Southern Baptist grandmother from Mississippi. And the way I hear it, these are the finest recipes you can get. In the South, women used to make these cakes every Sunday as a matter of course. Personally, this cake took me 6 hours. I'm sure this cake is like perogies: the more you do it, the faster it gets, but still.

One of the things I love about my grandmothers and my great-grandmothers and studying history in general is that I love to see the way they filled their days. And I can think of no better way to fill your day than making this complicated cake, made with butter and sugar and an obscene amount of eggs and lots and lots of love:

Coconut Layer Cake
For the cake:

16 tbsp unsalted butter, softened
2 1/2 cups cake flour
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp kosher salt
1 cup buttermilk
1 tbsp vanilla extract
2 cups sugar
5 eggs

For the frosting:

6 egg whites
1 cup sugar
1 tsp salt
2 tsp vanilla extract
3/4 cup fresh coconut water
2-3 cups toasted coconut flakes

Preheat the oven to 350. Place coconut flakes on a cookie sheet and bake for about 5-10 minutes until lightly browned. Remove and allow to cool completely.


Butter and flour two round cake pans, about 9" each. Whisk together flour, baking soda, and salt in a bowl, set aside. Whisk together buttermilk and vanilla in a bowl, set aside. In a bowl or a stand mixer, cream butter and sugar on medium-high speed until pale and fluffy, about 3 mins. Add eggs one at a time, beating well after each. On low speed, alternately add dry ingredients in 3 batches and wet ingredients in 2 batches. Increase speed to high, and beat until batter is smooth, about 5 seconds. Divide batter between prepared pans, and smooth top with a rubber spatula, drop pans lightly on a counter to expel large air bubbles. Bake cakes until a toothpick inserted in the middle comes out clean, about 35 minutes. Let cakes cool for 20 mins, invert onto wire racks and let cool completely. Using a serrated knife, halve each cake horizontally, producing four layers, set aside.

Please note this cake should have four layers, but I only had three because I royally fucked up the slicing of the first layer, which resulted in Stella doing this:


Facecouch? Whatever you wanna call it, I got the message loud and clear.

Make the frosting: Place egg whites and salt in a bowl and beat on medium-high speed until soft peaks form, add sugar a little at a time. Add vanilla and increase speed to high, beat until meringue forms stiff peaks.

To assemble, place one layer on a cake stand drizzle with 3 tbsp coconut water, spread with frosting, and sprinkle the top with toasted coconut. Repeat until all layers are assembled. Cover the entire top and sides of cake with the meringue frosting and sprinkle all sides with the toasted coconut. Serve cooled or at room temperature.




Oh yes please:


This was delicious, a perfect thing to do with idle hands, and incredibly huge. I took most of it to work, cut off huge slabs for everyone else I know, and still had so much left I threw away about 2 slices. But worth it. So, so worth it.

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It all started beautifully:



Even Stella got into it:


This Valentine's day, I planned an elaborate three-course meal for my boyfriend Chris and I to eat together. I thought I was being super-impressive by cooking oysters in butter with a champagne vinegar mignonette, "beeting heart" salad with roasted beets cut out with a heart-shaped cookie cutter on a bed of watercress, asparagus and steaks. And to be fair, while we ate and enjoyed champagne, it was delicious. What sucked was later.

No, I'm not talking about later as in one of those epic Valentine's Day fights couples have that involve violent drunkeness, broken dishes and an ever-after aversion to the day, I'm talking about when my stomach started to feel like a long car ride between Mitt Romney and that gay Vietnam vet he denied partner benefits to. Slowly it dawned on me: it must be the oysters. Cautiously I asked Chris how he felt, and he felt lousy too. So there you have it. I accidentally tried to kill a man on the day of love. Whatever, God.

Most likely, this was the result of red tide, and after doing a little research I discovered that only the ignorant and mentally ill buy oysters from B.C. Our mild coastal climate results in frequent algae blooms, which means you're playing Russian roulette with your intestines. I'm certain you can get safe oysters in BC, I'm not saying that, but I am saying that all it takes is one to make you wish you'd never been born and wonder why you don't always sleep on your bathroom floor because it's so nice and cool.

So, yeah. We're still together but yeesh. Talk about your all time worst fuck-ups. I guess the moral of this story is don't get creative on V day. Because if you do get creative in the kitchen you might not be able to be creative in other places. Eh? Ehhhh? See what I did there?

Jessica

www.crasscuisine.com

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Everyone knows that presentation is a crucial part of any plate, and we're stoked that CB2 has finally opened in the city to help out, particularly for those of us on a budget.  The store - whose Canadian presence had been limited to Toronto - opened this past weekend on Robson, and threw a great party to ensure we all knew.  An array of faves were on hand to cater, including Re Up BBQ, La Brasserie and the Dirty Apron, while we wandered the store eager to get our grubby mitts on all the food and product (we've got our eyes on their water pitcher, a metallic update on the famous Stelton standard).  All in all, CB2 managed to pull off a pretty impressive entrance to the local scene. 












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Dammit but do I clearly remember every single second of Wayne's World. My dad took me to see it and I laughed so hard he was all "Jessie, you're really fucking embarrassing right now".

Anyhoo, the point of this story is that every time I see Tom Yum Goong soup on the menu at a Thai restaurant I think of Wayne's World. And then I order it for the double reason that it reminds me of Wayne's World and that it's fucking delicious.

I wanted to make my own mostly because I like to make my own version of everything and also because I wanted an excuse to buy a bag of Kaffir lime leaves. I think they are so beautiful.

Tom Yum Goong Soup (Hot and Sour Shrimp Soup)


3 large stalks fresh lemongrass
4 cups chicken stock
12 fresh or frozen Kaffir lime leaves
1 cup canned straw or button mushrooms, drained
2-4 tbsp roasted Thai chile paste or Tom Yum Goong soup paste (whichever is available, in my case it was the latter)
1/2 bag or about 16 medium shrimp, peeled and deveined
1 1/2 tbsp fish sauce
4 thai chiles, stemmed and smashed with side of a knife
3 scallions, cut into 1" lengths
juice of 1 lime
2 cups cooked rice

Trim tip and roots ends of lemongrass stalks and remove and discard tough outer layer. Using a meat mallet or the side of a knife, smash lemongrass to flatten it; tie stalks into a knot and set aside. Pour stock into a 2 gt saucepan and bring to a boil. Add lemongrass and half the lime leaves, reduce heat to medium-low, and simmer until fragrant, about 5 minutes.

Remove and discard lemongrass and lime leaves and increase heat to high. Stir in mushrooms and chile/soup paste to taste, and boil for 1 minute; add shrimp and fish sauce and cook until shrimp are just cooked through, about 1 minute. Combine remaining lime leaves with chiles, scallions and lime juice in a serving bowl or tureen. Pour soup into serving bowl, stir and serve with rice (optional).



YES MA'AM. I love a hot soup. And when mixed with rice, it's a low-fat, filling meal. So savory and citrusey and delicious.

Other than hot soup, things have been pretty stagnant around here, like paralyzed stagnant. CAT-atonic:


For a few weeks now, Stella has been lying in the hall doing her best impersonation of a zombie. Not sure what's up there. Is it the seasons? Is she trying to freak me out? No doubt a little of both. Still love the bitch though, even though my newly developed allergies to her have made me go out and get not one but TWO inhalers so I can fucking breathe at night. SO lame. Just when you thought I couldn't get any sexier. Ah well. Enjoy the soup and all that crap.

Jessica

www.crasscuisine.com

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Burger Burger

I can't think of that many mom and pop burger spots left in BC but when I do for some reason New Westminster comes to mind.  There is Burger Heaven, Burger Burger and Lost in the 50's Drive In (not quite New West, but close).  

Burger Burger used to be a hang out of mine when I was 15 and I spent hours playing SFII Champion Edition at the 7-11 next door.   The burgers are cheap, tasty gravy and they have decent fries. Everything you want in a greasy spoon burger.   The burger combo is cheap (about 6 bucks) and puts to shame any combo that you get from your local Scottish restaurant with the golden arches.

They have a variety of burgers there including a teriyaki burger and a bulkogi burger.  I had the basic combo and had to return for the bulkogi burger.  The bulkogi burger was a let down.  I am pretty sure the bulkogi burger was the same patty that is in all the other burgers on the menu but laced with bulkogi sauce.  I guess that pretty much sums up the teriyaki burger.  That said, don't sleep on the regular burger combo for under 6 bucks.

Burger Burger
340 6th Street
New Westminster BC


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Historically, there have been a lot of dick jokes on Crass Cuisine...... AND HERE'S ANOTHER ONE!

I love the dish sausage and peppers for two equally compelling reasons:

First, being neither Italian or American, I am naturally very interested in Italian American cuisine. I love Italian food and I love American food, but the classics that are created by Italian immigrants making a new life and new foods in America will always have a special place in my heart. These are comfort classics that warm you up from the inside out. Which is especially good if you happen to live in Vancouver right now, enjoying our daily 6 inches of rain and skies that look like 8pm at 10am.

Second, handling a sausage has always, ALWAYS had the same effect on me: I immediately pretend it's a dick. I do this in precisely two situations: When handling sausages and when pumping my own gas. Since I don't have a car and haven't for years handling sausage is pretty much my only chance to exercise my latent penis envy. I guess that's not really a dick joke, it's more a dick-related story. Plus I think it comes up so much because I love the word. Dick. DICK DICK DICK.

This particular dish is an Italian-American staple that can be served for almost every meal:

Sausage and Peppers

serves 4-6

1 large or the equivalent of about 1lb of sweet or spicy Italian sausage
6 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
2 medium yellow onions, thinly sliced
1 red bell pepper, stemmed, seeded and sliced into strips
1 green bell pepper, stemmed, seeded and sliced into strips
1/2 tsp crushed red chile flakes
4 cloves garlic, finely chopped
1 cup chicken stock
1/2 tsp dried oregano
sea salt and freshly ground black pepper, to taste
2 tbsp finely chopped fresh parsley

Bring sausages, 3 tbsp oil and 1/3 cup water to boil in a skillet over medium-high heat; cover and simmer until sausages are half-cooked, about 8 minutes. Uncover and cook, turning until sausages are browned all over, about 5 minutes. Transfer to a cutting board and cut into 1 inch pieces. Set aside. Return skillet to heat along with remaining oil. Add onions and bell peppers; cook until soft, about 6 minutes. Add chile flakes and garlic, cook until fragrant, about 2 minutes. Return sausages to skillet along with stock, oregano and salt and pepper, boil. Cover and cook until sausages are cooked through, about 10 minutes; uncover and cook until sauce is slightly reduced, about 4 minutes. Sprinkle with parsley and serve.



Oh fuck yeah. And you know what else? This dish tastes even better the next day. Get some. Sausage and dick, preferably.

Jessica

http://www.crasscuisine.com/

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 Chinese Chef of the Year Competition's award winning dish for 2011 - Sauteed Geoduck with Egg White by Executive Chef Tony Luk from Jade Seafood Restaurant


2011 Critics' Choice Award Winning Dish "Durian Pastry" by Dim Sum Head Chef Jian Ming Lai, Rainflower Seafood












Chinese Chef of the Year Competition's award winning dish for 2011 - Sauteed Geoduck with Egg White by Executive Chef Tony Luk from Jade Seafood Restaurant


Fried geoduck fritters




Photo Credits to Maurice Li 
MauriceLi.com

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As Phife Dawg said "Head for the border, go get a taco".

It is old news but Tacos Tecalitlan is a worthwhile stop when you are in Bellingham.  This taco truck on Guide Meridian gives you enough reason to choose the Aldergrove port of entry.  At $1.25 a taco the value is amazing, and with a variety that includes beef, pork, chicken, pork stomach, deep fried pork, cheek and beef tongue it is a must stop when you are hunting down cheese at Costco in the states.

The tacos kick ass on the burritos and the horchata isn't always available but these prices put our food trucks to shame.   The hot sauce is spicy and tasty and the shells are fried with a nice crisp edge just the way I prefer them to be done.

Go follow Phife Dawgs words.

Taco Tecalitlan
5309 Guide Meridian
Bellingham, WA