I don't think anyone comes home from a hard day at work and thinks to themselves, "damn, I could really go for a stiff drink and a plateful of green vegetables". I mean really. But we all know they are pretty much the best things for us and help us fight cancer and clean our blood and a million other amazing things. So I keep on with my quest to find interesting and considered ways to cook greens so that I might start craving them along with Mars bars and taquitos.

I found this chard at my local capers and it was so pretty I knew I could find something to do with it:

Try some barely cooked in this unique saute from Bon Appetit:

Swiss Chard Saute

1 bunch red or rainbow swiss chard
2 thinly sliced shallots
2 garlic cloves, crushed in a press
crushed red pepper flakes to taste (don't be a pussy though, put lots in)
2 tbsp apple cider vinegar
2 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
2 tbsp butter
sea salt and fresh ground black pepper to taste

Chop your chard down into 1 inch pieces and put in a bowl, including stems. It looks huge, but it will reduce down as soon as you add it to the heat. Heat oil in a large skillet over medium heat. Add shallots and garlic. Cook, stirring often, until soft, about 5 minutes. Add red pepper flakes, stir 1 minute. Add the stems first, cook for 2 mins, then add the leaves. Add leaves and cook until crisp tender, about 5 minutes, then add butter and vinegar, toss until butter is melted. Season with salt and pepper and serve.

Something I didn't expect was that as soon as you add vinegar to chard, it smells exactly like a wet dog. I was standing there thinking seriously that a wet dog had just walked into my house and wondering what I was going to do with it and where it came from. But the smell doesn't last long (just until the vinegar has a chance to burn off slightly) and chard really is delicious cooked this way. I had mine with some pork, because I am slowly but steadily facing my fear of pork.

This would also be really good with a poached egg on top for breakfast, you know, to get your iron in before you go run a marathon and visit the farmers market, you asshole.

Just kidding (or am I?)