You remember Nin. He's the guy who bought me that epic Indian blanket that remains so very relevant to my household. When he first started I promised him a cheesecake for his birthday, and never delivered because I'm an asshole. A year later Nin has decided to move on to greener pastures and has quit our mutual place of employment to be closer to home, as he lives in the 'burbs and he and his lovely wife are expecting a baby soon. I was not consulted in this decision. Pfft.

So to say a proper goodbye I thought it only appropriate to finally make him that damn cheesecake with the topping of his choice, and he chose raspberries:

Raspberry Cheesecake


1 1/2 cups graham cracker crumbs
1 tbsp sugar
6 tbsp melted butter


5 8 oz packages of cream cheese, room temperature
1 1/2 cups sugar
5 eggs, room temperature
2 egg yolks, room temperature
1/4 cup sour cream
1 tbsp grated lemon zest
1 1/2 tsp vanilla extract


1 cup red jelly (not jam)
small container raspberries

Preheat oven to 350. In a medium bowl, combine the graham cracker crumbs, butter and sugar, mix until moistened. Pour into a 9" springform pan. Press crumbs into the bottom of the pan and 1 inch up the sides. Bake for 8 minutes and cool to room temperature.

Increase oven temp to 450. Place cream cheese and sugar in a bowl and blend until light and fluffy. This is the part where this cake got annoying. If you don't have one of those million-dollar Kitchenaid things that you can pour cement into and it will come out light and fluffy, then don't bother with this part of the recipe. Huge hunks of cream cheese pelted my walls at 30 mph and the sugar stayed in stubborn lumps on the side of the bowl. "Light and fluffy" my ass. Add the eggs first, 3 to start then 2 at a time for the rest, and they will provide enough liquid to help your shitty London Drugs mixer tackle the cream cheese. Period amen.

With mixer on low, add the zest and vanilla. When all is mixed thoroughly, pour on top of crust in the springform pan.

Bake the cake for 15 minutes. Reduce oven temperature to 225 and bake an additional 1 hour and 15 minutes. Turn off oven and open door wide. Cake will not be completely set in center. Leave cake in oven with door open for 30 minutes. Remove from oven and allow to sit at room temperature for another 2-3 hours until completely cooled.

To make the topping, melt the jelly in a small pan over low heat. Gently add raspberries and toss until coated. Remove from heat and let mixture cool slightly. Spoon over top of partially cooled cake and ALLOW BOTH TO COMPLETELY COOL. Cover cake with plastic wrap. Refrigerate overnight.

Remove cake from springform pan by running a knife along the outside edge and slowly unlocking springform. Retain the bottom of the pan for serving.

Let me tell you what an immense pain in the ass it is to do this cake without having the motherfucker crack right down the middle like the Grand fucking Canyon. The reason there are so many fussy temperature steps is to avoid this, as this mixture of egg and cream cheese positively lives to crack. I put mine in the fridge too early before it had completely cooled and so I got a cleft the size of my ass crack off to one side:

Ah well. Nin loved it and that's what counts. I carried this bitch to work with me and let me tell you it is really heavy. It's a good 8lbs of cheese, which is just wonderful if you think about it. We feasted on this alongside rich red wine and it was like Rome before the fall. Om nom nom.

This cake takes a lot of work so it's a good special occasion type thing, but just for a weeknight? You kinda have to hate yourself. Cheesecake is high maintenance. Join the club.




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